April 26, 2012
I re-print this great post from the purposefairy.com. LOVE THIS.
What is the difference between happy people and unhappy people? Of course, it may be very obvious, happy people are happy while unhappy people are unhappy, right? Well, that is correct, but we want to know what are the things that these people do differently and that is why, I have put together a list of things that HAPPY people do differently than UNHAPPY people.
1. LOVE vs. FEAR. Well, I can tell you for sure that those people who are really happy, FEAR less and LOVE a lot more. They see each moment, each challenge, each person as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.
2. ACCEPTANCE vs. RESISTANCE. Happy people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it,but you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding that there might be a reason for its existence. When something unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to fight it, knowing that this will make the situation even worse, but rather, they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better? and they go from there, focusing on the positive rather than on the negative. They always seem to see the glass half full no matter what happens to them.
3. FORGIVENESS vs. UNFORGIVENESS. Really happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to anger. They choose to FORGIVE and FORGET, understanding that FORGIVENESS is a gift they give to themselves first and foremost.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”Buddha
4. TRUST vs. DOUBT. They trust themselves and they trust the people around them. No matter if they talk to the cleaning lady or the C.E.O. of a multi billion company, somehow they always seem make the person they are interacting with feel like there is something unique and special about them.
They understand that beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, and because of that, they make sure to treat everybody with love, dignity and respect, making no distinctions between age, sex, social status, color, religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain was talking about: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Mark Twain
5. MEANING vs. AMBITION. They do the things they do because of the meaning it brings into their lives and because they get a sense of purpose by doing so. They understand that “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life” like Wayne Dyer puts it, and they care more about living a life full of meaning rather than, what in our modern society we would call, living a successful life.
The irony here is that most of the time they get both, success and meaning, just because they choose to focus on doing the things they love the most and they always pursue their heart desires. They are not motivated by money; they want to make a difference in the lives of those around them and in the world.
6. PRAISING vs. CRITICIZING. Happy people would probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size”. They don’t criticize the absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, but rather, every time the behavior is present, even if it’s not that often, they know that by praising the person and the behavior, they will actually reinforce the positive behavior.
When a parent wants to make sure that his 7 years old boy will learn to always put the toys back in the box after he’s done playing with them, he will make sure not to focus on the many times the child won’t do it, criticizing him and his behavior, but rather, every time the little boy does put the toys back, the parent will praise him and his behavior and that is exactly how he will reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end geting the wanted results.
7. CHALLENGES vs. PROBLEMS. Happy people will see PROBLEMS as CHALLENGES, as opportunities to explore new ways of doing things, expressing their gratitude for them, understanding that underneath them all lies manyopportunities that will allow them to expand and to grow.
8. SELFLESSNESS vs. SELFISHNESS. They do what they do not for themselves, but for the good of others, making sure that they bring meaning, empowerment and happiness in the lives of many. They look for ways to give and to share the best of themselves with the world and to make other people happy.
”Before giving, the mind of the giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted.”Buddha
9. ABUNDANCE vs. LACK/POVERTY. They have an abundant mindset living a balanced life, achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. DREAMING BIG vs. BEING REALISTIC. These people don’t really care about being realistic. They love and dare to dream big, they always listen to their heart and intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many of us.
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” Goethe
11. KINDNESS vs. CRUELTY. They are kind to themselves and others and they understand the power of self love, self forgiveness and self acceptance.
12. GRATITUDE vs. INGRATITUDE. No no matter where they look, no matter where they are or with who, they have this capacity of seeing beauty where most of us would only see ugliness, opportunities, where most of us would only see struggles, abundance where most of us would only see lack and they express their gratitude for them all.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT vs. DISENGAGEMENT. They know how to live in the present moment, appreciating what they have and where they are, while still having big dreams about the future.
“When you are present, you can allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek your self in it and mistake it for who you are.” Eckhart Tolle
14. POSITIVITY vs. NEGATIVITY. No matter what happens to them, they always seem to keep a positive perspectiveon everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of negative and “realistic” people.
15. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY vs. BLAMING. They take full ownership over their lives and they rarely use excuses. Happy people understand that the moment you choose to blame some outside forces for whatever it is that happens to you, you are in fact giving all your power away, and they choose to keep the power for themselves andtaking responsibility for everything that happens to them.
April 24, 2012
14 Easy Ways to Get Insanely Motivated
These simple strategies will keep you energized through the holidays and well into the new year.
It’s getting toward the end of the year, so with the holidays in sight, I thought it appropriate to give you all a little gift: a column that I guarantee will make you more more successful in the coming year.
Here are 14 quick strategies to get and keep yourself motivated:
1. Condition your mind. Train yourself to think positive thoughts while avoiding negative thoughts.
2. Condition your body. It takes physical energy to take action. Get your food and exercise budget in place and follow it like a business plan.
- Read More: Why You’re Still Overweight
3. Avoid negative people. They drain your energy and waste your time, so hanging with them is like shooting yourself in the foot.
4. Seek out the similarly motivated. Their positive energy will rub off on you and you can imitate their success strategies.
5. Have goals–but remain flexible. No plan should be cast in concrete, lest it become more important than achieving the goal.
6. Act with a higher purpose. Any activity or action that doesn’t serve your higher goal is wasted effort–and should be avoided.
7. Take responsibility for your own results. If you blame (or credit) luck, fate or divine intervention, you’ll always have an excuse.
8. Stretch past your limits on a daily basis. Walking the old, familiar paths is how you grow old. Stretching makes you grow and evolve.
9. Don’t wait for perfection; do it now! Perfectionists are the losers in the game of life. Strive for excellence rather than the unachievable.
10. Celebrate your failures. Your most important lessons in life will come from what you don’t achieve. Take time to understand where you fell short.
11. Don’t take success too seriously. Success can breed tomorrow’s failure if you use it as an excuse to become complacent.
12. Avoid weak goals. Goals are the soul of achievement, so never begin them with “I’ll try …” Always start with “I will” or “I must.”
13. Treat inaction as the only real failure. If you don’t take action, you fail by default and can’t even learn from the experience.
14. Think before you speak. Keep silent rather than express something that doesn’t serve your purpose.
The above is based on a conversation with Omar Periu, one of the world’s best (and best known) motivational speakers.
If you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time, you know that one of my main topics…nay, beliefs…is that it all starts with the proper mindset. Possibly the most challenging part of climbing what ever hill you’ve chosen to climb – to change from where you are NOW to where you want to be — is getting over/around YOURSELF. Your mind, your brain, your training, your family, your beliefs. They all tend to conspire to keep you where you are NOW, whether or not it’s best.
Now….if you’ve decided to shift that perspective….in other words, CHANGE (change your job, your life, your outlook), you can do it. No question. Over the next few posts, I’m going to share with you the 12 No-Muss, No-Fluff, No-Foolin’-Around Slam Dunk Steps to Attracting Success.
Got a pencil? um…or a printer? OK….here we go.
1. Accept. That’s right: ACCEPT. Accept your truth – in other words, accept where you ARE. Radical acceptance is a concept that embraces embracing. Embrace the here and now. Your circumstances. Everything. Your job, your financial condition, your relationships as they really are, your life. You cannot change what you’re not willing to accept. Completely.
2. Accept. No, not a type-0….Once you’ve accepted the truth, now you must accept responsibility for HOW you got here. Take responsibility for those choices. After all, you made ‘em. Nothing exists in a vacuum, but at the end of the day, you are responsible for every element of your life. The only thing you can change? You. And how you approach things moving forward. You cannot change the past and to ruminate on it is a waste of time. Simply accept and move forward.
3. Manage and Change Negative and Harmful Thoughts. This is not a step that you can simply check off and move forward. This is an on-going practice. While you’re taking an inventory of your life, this step requires you to take an inventory of how you’re thinking about your life and your circumstances. Once you’ve accepted things – you can begin to change your thoughts. Thoughts become things and we are able to change how we think. Take 10-minutes and just listen to the inner dialogue that’s running around in your head. Whatever is blocking your path – remove it. And keep removing it. This will take time – have some patience with yourself. When you hear negative thoughts or beliefs that block you (like, “oh, I could never do that,” or “I can’t ask for that….”) STOP. And say, “I can do that.” Simple — not necessarily easy — but possibly the most important of all these steps.
4. Commit to yourself – and to your vision. A lot of us – myself included – have had to learn some hard lessons on power. We don’t truly know that we have power. Our energy, our creativity, our persistence — all have power. When you decide upon pursuing one of your dreams, commit to it. Don’t just say, “well, I kinda would like to maybe do this, if everything else works out and it’s OK with you…..”. No. Commit to your vision. Visualize it. See it happening. There is a LOT more we can say about this – and will say about this – in coming posts. See it happening. Every chance you get. Then, everything you do will be aligned with manifesting that vision.
5. Know WHY. This is the energy that will keep you running when money gets tight, when people doubt your sanity, why others will want to join your cause (see Simon Sinek’s TED Talks). Knowing why – and having a profound inner knowing that this is your direction – will shine through to others as credible and authentic. You won’t have to explain – you will just connect. Magic.
Next post: 5 More No-Fluff, No-Muss, No-Foolin’ Around, Slam Dunk Steps to Success
March 26, 2012
You wake up on Monday morning and you resist the beginning of the week. You notice you have a much harder time getting out of bed than you did yesterday, in anticipation of a day filled with joy and…. football. You roll over and take 10 more minutes…and then, reluctantly get into the shower.
In traffic, you’re agitated and cursing those ahead of you in the seemingly endless line. The more upset you get, the slower the line moves.
You get in the elevator and that co-worker you try to avoid is there, saying (and sighing) “well, it’s MONDAY….” as if sentenced to hard labor in the yard. You silently agree…and sigh yourself. Your energy drops even lower.
What’s going on here? A typical day – or is it? These examples are about living a life of resistance. Holding on to what you demand to happen is all about control — and guess what? The only thing you can truly control is yourself – and your reaction to what IS. Traffic just IS. Monday just IS. It’s all about your reaction to the IS that determines your happiness.
If you are ready, wrap your head around this: what you resist, persists. Release the need to resist the good, the bad and the ugly – in other words, accept what IS. The sooner you do that, and really embrace it – the sooner you will allow FLOW into your life. FLOW is about moving with what IS – and that, my friends, is POWER.
So, the next time you’re in your car and there’s traffic all around, turn up the radio a bit. Release the need to control everything. Express gratitude for the moments you now are being offered as an opportunity.
I know, I know…..we’re all used to hearing about how to become masters of the universe by leaping tall buildings and DOING. Guess what? You can’t push the river and my suggestion is that you DON’T TRY.
March 19, 2012
I hear it all the time from people. "I'm passionate about it." "I'm not going to quit, It's my passion". Or I hear it as advice to students and others "Follow your passion".
What a bunch of BS. "Follow Your Passion" is easily the worst advice you could ever give or get.
Why ? Because everyone is passionate about something. Usually more than 1 thing.
March 6, 2012
If you’re a fan of Seinfeld, then you know exactly what the term “Opposite George” means. If not, let’s pause for a brief definition.
George’s life sucks. So much so that he has to resort to desperate measures. Whatever he usually does (part of his now-sucky life), he resolves to do the opposite (to un-suck his life). This simple resolution has remarkable results, of course, and his life turns completely around. But, by the end of the episode, hapless George returns to his old ways (tuna on white) and his life returns to suck-ville.
Now – you try.
For the rest of today, whatever you have been doing that has been resulting in less-than-stellar results, do the opposite. I can’t promise you “turkey-on-whole-wheat” results, but you may see a little magic nonetheless.
February 28, 2012
Of all the things that can trip us up in our quest to be fully-realized human beings, the toughest one may be inside your own head. That negative self-talk can rip the guts out of a perfectly innocent encounter or put a choke hold on your creativity. My top tip? Love what you do
That’s it. Love what you do. Do your tasks with love. If you have this mindset, you will no longer feel the tasks as chore. Instead they will be something you happily do. They will befun.
To really see the awesome power of this one, lone idea: look to your life for examples. Remember when you did something just completely, 100% for the love of it?? Remember how that felt now….and keep it growing. This feeling is the energy that can and will envelop anything and everything you do — as long as you hold that feeling. I know, I know…there are plenty of things out there you simply have to do or even hate to do….but, what if you could just remember this feeling and let it flow? Might those less-loved tasks take on a better and shinier glow? Yep. Thought so.
You may think this is a crazy exercise but try it. For one week, bring love and this feeling to everything. Notice the difference in how you perform. The tasks will flow much easier if you’re not dragging yourself to them, kicking and screaming.
Now, how can we change our mindset to love what we do? I wish I could give you many tips on this, but the more I think about it the more I realize that all the tips I think of boil down to just one:
Replace your negative self-talk with positive one
It all begins with our mind. We love something because we have positive self-talk about it and we don’t like something because we have negative self-talk about it. For instance, for something we love we may say something like:
- I love it.
- It’s exciting.
- I can’t wait to do it.
On the other hand, for something we don’t like we may say something like:
- It’s boring
- It’s difficult
- I wish I don’t have to do this.
Can you see the difference?
1. Find something positive about the task
Each task can teach you something. For example, putting together my receipts and tax information. I do believe this is one of the most universally disliked tasks. However, this task feels good to me because I am feeling organized and getting things straight instead of hiding from it. Try it!
2. Watch your self-talk
Our self-talk may run automatically that we barely notice. But, if you take closer look, you will recognize the kind of self-talk you have. So don’t just do things on autopilot. Watch your thoughts and identify the kind of self-talk you have.
3. Use negative self-talk as trigger for positive one
When you notice that negative self-talk takes place in your mind, use it as a trigger to initiate positive self-talk. You already find positive things about the task (from step 1 above), so you can start using them to say something positive about the task in your mind.
4. Be persistent
Replacing negative self-talk with positive one takes time, so be persistent along the way until you startliking the task. Perhaps it hasn’t yet been love, but liking is a good start. When you have positive attitude toward a task, you will see that your productivity improves.
As you may have guessed, or already understand, these tips don’t just happen – and nor do they stick around if you don’t practice them. Keep at it — and the many benefits you reap will be beyond your imagination.
February 23, 2012
I love the quote from Henry Ford, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” SO right.
This is particularly on-target when it comes to building something that takes a long and sustained effort — like building a business. And it has not escaped my attention that I, just as my clients, am very susceptible to the winds of confidence. Being an entrepreneur is not so much about the business, though….it really is about the frame of mind you have to have to do that sort of thing. The ability to weather anxiety, insecurity and the nagging thoughts: am I doing the right thing?
It seems to me – and this is just my two cents – that if you believe a thing to be true, and can see it being true, it’s much more likely to BECOME true. This is just as true with the positive things as the negative ones. So – what say we stop proving that a thing is true (I have few clients, the bank account is dwindling and my confidence is crumbling) and start proving the positive to be true (I have great clients, my bank account is building and my powerful ideas are building) and just call it TRUE, huh? Take a stab at being absolutely 100% positive you are on a “mission from God” to share your talents with the world and what do you bet – the road rises up to meet you in that completely light-filled glorious space.